I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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