The brown eye won't let me do that either.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize