i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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