It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
So squirting runs in the family.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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