We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Randomize