but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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