So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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