By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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