I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize