you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize
