There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
