You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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