Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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