Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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