I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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