I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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