I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
false alarm. still invincible.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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