What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
