I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
