u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
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