I'm drive I can fine osifer
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
