I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
