Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize