i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
