I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
