then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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