Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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