Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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