I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
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