Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize