Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
