there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
