I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize