What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
look no pants
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Randomize
