this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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