i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
