i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Randomize
