redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
