I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
