oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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