I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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