Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Mom said you looked used
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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