He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
