yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
