Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
