I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
