I wish you could order shots online.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
