Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
