we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
