i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
