Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
