too bad you live with your parents still
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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