idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
