just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
