Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
