Pappa wants mamma naked
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
