I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
