Already got asked if we're dating
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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