I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
